Long and Scary Night

   I wasn't expecting to meet any firemen yesterday. I wasn't expecting to be standing outside in the cold at nine at night. I definately wasn't expecting to be so out of control. Last night my husband, Chris, and I were sitting on our couch after supper (Crock pot ranch pork chops. Thank you pinterest) when I started to smell something like gasoline. I asked Chris if he smelled it but he didn't. I think he probably thought I was crazy, but I was definately smelling something. Ten minutes later we heard, "WARNING! CARBON MONOXIDE IS IN THE HOUSE! WARNING!"
   Instant panic on my part. We opened the door and I called my cousin, Kirk, who is a volunteer fireman and asked him what to do. He said to call 911. WHAT??? I had never called 911 and was not planning on starting. Aparently, God had other plans. So at 9:30 the fire department came down the street with the lights on. Sorry neighbors. Meanwhile, I was crying in the cold pickup truck while talking to my mom.
   Not my best moment but definately a learning one. I was so terrified that I would have to pay to fix the furnace and be homeless for a few days and no one would be home to check on the dogs. *Hyperventilating* I had no idea what was going to happen. All I knew was there were people walking around my not very clean house, touching my things, and I did not sign up for it.
   Once again things were not as bad as they seemed at the time. They seldomly are. Turns out there was a little lid on our furnace in the hallway. With the door on, it creates suction which pulls the carbon monoxide and natural gas up out of the house; when that door is not off, like last night, all the bad stuff is pushed into the house. The solution: Put the lid back on. Open up all the windows and doors. Pray that the levels go down and stay down. It worked. Once again everything turned out fine and Chris and I are stronger for it. Was it fun? Of course not. Did it all turn out ok? Of course it did. Another way God helped to remind me that he is in control even when I am not.
*Kaylee*

Controlling the Uncontrollable

   Today I took my BTLPT (that is bilingual target language proficiency test for those of you who didn't know *I didn't at first*) My college degree is in bilingual education but I can't actually teach in a Spanish bilingual classroom until after I get certified. That entails passing three different tests. I have passed one. This test has 4 parts and to pass I have to get 80% on each section. There is no way I passed. I think I did well on the listening, reading, and writing parts, but I don't think I did well on the speaking part. Normally, I would be really upset about this, but I am feeling really peaceful actually. I realize that I did what I could do and the rest is up to God.
   Last night was a totally different story though. I was still awake at midnight due to my anxiety and OCD. You see, when I get nervous about something it manifests itself in my OCD symptoms, mostly by checking on my three dogs every few minutes obsessively to make sure they haven't gotten out. So guess what I was doing when I should have been sleeping? Worrying and checking. I conciously know that it is silly. My checking on them is just a way that I try to have control over something when I feel out of control, but I do it anyway. That feeling is what gave me the inspiration for this blog. I struggle with remembering that although I am out of control, my God is always in control.
  I was reminded of this again as I was leaving the parking lot to go to my testing room. I ran into a man that I know from church. I told him how nervous I was and he took my hand and prayed with me. It was so comforting. I felt closer to God in that moment than I have in months. Hope this lifts you up too.
Out of Control and Loving it for Once
*Kaylee*