Thinking about the past

   In the midst of my anxiety, depression, OCD, and fertility problems, I find these rare moments of clarity. I had one of these the other night. I was laying in bed reading while my husband slept beside me. All of a sudden I started thinking about how I met Chris and how it had not been my plan.
   The first time I met him (well, not the first time because I don't actually remember the FIRST time) was on our way to Memphis TN for a mission trip. It was with the Church of Christ Student Center at WTAMU. Chris had actually already graduated and came back because his best friend was going to do some electrical work on the mission trip. I was originally really excited to go, but then I found out that of the few close friends I had, none of them were going. The week before the trip I called my mom to tell her I didn't think I wanted to go. She talked me into it, saying I would have fun and it would be good for me to get out of my comfort zone. I really like my comfort zone but decided maybe she was right. (She usually is)
  So I went on this mission trip to a place without anyone who really knew me. On top of that my boyfriend at the time (my high school sweetheart) was also on a mission trip to an Indian Reservation, so I couldn't talk to him. I was dreading this trip. I showed up at the Student Center early in the morning and there was this tall guy hanging around. The first thing I noticed was his striking blue eyes. Everyone seemed to know him except me. I found out that he was a math teacher at Brownfield TX. I was curious but nothing more. He rode on my bus and we listened to his music. The second thing I noticed was he actually listened to good music. He and some of his friends, including the driver, jammed out the whole way to Memphis and I actually didn't mind.
   When we got to Memphis, we had two projects: a renovation on a church building and a Vacation Bible School for the inner city kids. Chris and I had both originally signed up to work with the VBS. The first day I was put with a group of students working on memory verses. Chris was a leader in the group and helped them get from station to station. We were serving lunch after VBS when Chris walked up to me. "What are you majoring in?" he asked. I told him that I had actually just changed my major from broadcasting to education. "Good.You are going to be good at it." The way he said it sent a warm feeling up my back.
   I decided then that I didn't like him. Who was he to think I needed his approval on anything much less my career choice? Sure he was cute but I was not single and he obviously knew how good looking he was. This thought was further confirmed when I caught him and Matt, his best friend, teasing me about being bubbly and eager to please. I decided they were both jerks and I didn't need anything to do with them.
   I laugh thinking about it now. I think about how angry I was with my future husband and his best friends. (I now know that his friends would do anything for us and I am so glad that Chris has them) Eight months later Chris and I got engaged. I am so glad I went on that mission trip. I knew God was going to do something amazing but I never imagined he would bring me the love of my life. Beautiful things happen when you let God take control.